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Leave A Little Room for the Groom.

As a wedding planner and decorator, most people assume I just hang out among the tulle and the roses with women all day. It’s true…I do work mostly with brides and moms and besties. And while I love all this fabulous girl power, this doesn’t mean I don’t love my grooms. I work very hard to remember the groom in every aspect of wedding planning. More than one of my alpha brides has heard me gently say “remember, it’s his wedding, too.”

 

Now I have worked with all kinds of grooms. I will tell you that even guys who say they don’t care actually do care—it’s just a matter of priority. Most men have lives beyond sports and beer (or I might not even have a business) and they really do want to help. To prove my point, this season I am working with quite a few brides and grooms who are true partners in the whole process. Let me tell you, we are having a blast! There is nothing more adorable than a creative groom who has ideas and opinions about his wedding.

 

Whether your fiance fits this description or he’s just along for the ride, there are some things I find most guys have opinions about: the food, the drinks, the party and the honeymoon. There are also a few things that just naturally fall into his court. Either way, it’s important to have some designated “groom duties.” Honestly, girls, taking over every single duty and handling every single task is not a good way to start a married life. Marriages work best when responsibilities are shared—you might as well start now.

 

So here goes.

  1. The Guest List. This is one of those natural places for the groom to take on some duties. He needs to make a list of all the people he would like to invite to the wedding and then help create a final list and track down missing addresses and contact information.
  2. The Rehearsal Dinner. Tradition usually holds that the rehearsal dinner is hosted by the groom’s family. Even if this isn’t the case, planning a great rehearsal dinner sounds like the perfect job for your future husband.
  3. Food and Beverage. Get your groom involved in planning the food and beverage portion of the wedding. Maybe he has a favorite beer or he wants beef instead of chicken (and don’t you dare try putting fruit in his wedding cake). He should have a say, and if nothing else, he’ll love the taste test.
  4. Transportation. Not to be stereotypical, but most guys like cars. Lining up the wedding transportation just seems like a job for the groom.
  5. Groomsmen Gifts. Who knows his closest friends and family better than him?
  6. Wedding Music. Some guys could care less, but most of them do have opinions about music. Work together to choose the music, from the song that walks you down the aisle to the first dance and even a play list for the entire evening. If you don’t have a wedding planner in charge of helping you locate vendors, maybe your groom can take care of finding a good DJ or band.
  7. The Wedding Website. If technology is his thing, by all means, step aside and let him create and launch your wedding website. It’s pretty easy with some of the simple tools available in places like weddingwire.com.
  8. The Honeymoon. Sun. Sand. Sex. Yes, he cares. Planning an amazing honeymoon is in his best interest and it’s not a task he’ll take lightly.
  9. His Attire. If he’s a stylish guy, there is no reason he shouldn’t choose his own clothes as long as it fits with your general theme. If fashion is not his thing, you can nudge him in the right direction, but let him put on his big boy pants and take care of all the arrangements.
  10. His Mom. If your future MIL is stressing you out, let HIM talk to her about it. Fighting with your in-laws is not a great way to start out your marriage. It’s often best if you handle your family and let him handle his. You both know your Mothers and their intentions best.

 

I didn’t include some of the obvious ways grooms should be involved in the wedding—like making a toast, keeping his groomsmen in line and thanking the guests—but hopefully this list will remind you that there are plenty of duties to go around. Even if your guy tells you that he’s fine with whatever you decide, it really is his day, too. By working together, you’ll both have more reasons to enjoy it.

 

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