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Wedding Myth Busters

So I’ve been doing this a looooong time. And because it’s my job to make your life easier, I will never tell you what you HAVE to do on your wedding day (honestly, the only thing you really have to do is say yes and sign a piece of paper). However, I have no problem telling stressed-out brides what they DON’T have to do.


You see, so many brides and grooms come to me with this huge list of things they feel they have to include in order to A) not hurt any feelings B) not buck tradition or C) not be weird.


Here’s the thing.  If there was ever ONE DAY in your life where you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, it’s your wedding day. There is a long list of wedding myths and traditions out there—let’s tackle a few of them and you’ll see that for every “you have to” there is generally a solution for “you don’t have to.”


  • You don’t have to wear a white wedding dress.

Heck, you don’t even have to wear a dress if you really, really don’t want one. I’m giving you permission right now to wear whatever makes you feel confident and pretty. While that’s usually a beautiful dress of some sort, it doesn’t have to be a wedding dress. And to answer the next question, you don’t have to wear white, either. I’ve seen gorgeous dresses in pink, green and baby blue.


  • You don’t have to serve a full sit down dinner.

It’s all about the timing. Avoid major meal times and you can get creative with feeding your guests. Serve an appetizer bar, a light lunch (with Bloody Marys!) or even just cake and punch if it’s early in the day. If you have questions about meal etiquette, just ask. I’m here to help.


  • You don’t have to have a wedding cake.

GASP! No cake? My romantic side just died a little. But it’s true. You don’t have to serve wedding cake. Lots of people are choosing other types of desserts these days, including cupcakes, pies, cookies and even tiers of cheese and fruit.


  • You don’t have to have something old, new, borrowed or blue

Ok, you don’t…but this one is kind of sweet, right? The sentimental, traditionalist in me says let’s give this one a chance.


  • You don’t have to hire your relatives.

This is a big one for so many couples. If your relatives aren’t professional DJ’s, caterers, photographers, videographers, bakers, florists, musicians, decorators or seamstresses, there is a good chance you’ll be disappointed on one of the most important days of your life. Gently and firmly tell your sweet relatives you want them to enjoy the day with family, and hire a true pro to do the job. I know some of the best in the business and would love to share my references with you. Tony at Empire Productions can out-DJ any well-meaning uncle on the planet, guaranteed.


  • You don’t have to get married in a church.

My apologies to grandma, but these days a ton of couples are getting married outside the church. There are hundreds of amazing venues for weddings, and most church officiants don’t have a problem performing the ceremony in a neutral location. Do be sure to check with yours first, there are exceptions.


  • You don’t have to put be so fancy.

When it comes to decorating, never underestimate the power of great lighting. The right lighting can literally transform a room into a celebration without a ton of fancy decorations.  If you want the best wedding lighting ever, talk to Jason at Energy Productions. He is a genius.


  • You don’t have to boys on one side and girls on the other.

That rule went out the door years ago. Not only do you not have to all females at your side, you don’t even have to have all HUMANS at your side. If your best girl happens to be a male German Shephard, so be it.


  • You don’t have to have a dance.

Weddings and wedding dances go together like peanut butter and jelly, but if you absolutely loathes the idea of dancing, guess what? You don’t have to have a wedding dance. You can have a barbecue. You can do karaoke. You can just have a party and skip the dance floor. You can spend the day on the lake, the golf course or the back deck. There are no rules to this! Your day, your way. And your night, too.


  • You don’t have to have a wedding shower.

It’s a tradition to throw the bride a wedding shower, but it’s not a requirement. If you don’t want a shower, go on the offense and tell people right away so they don’t start planning one or expect to attend one. When they insist, it’s your right as the bride to nicely insist right back.

And finally…the big one. My friend, you don’t have to have a wedding. This may sound funny coming from a wedding planner, but if you really don’t want a formal wedding, don’t have one. Make sure your significant other truly feels the same way and then just quietly get married the way you want to get married. You have every right, and my very best wishes. Congratulations!


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