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What To Do When The Honeymoon Is Over.

Years and years of dreaming. Months and months of planning. Hours and hours filled with wedding magazines and bridal showers and the gloriousness of being The Bride. And after one giant, wonderful, whirlwind weekend…it’s over. Poof. Gone like the last slice of double cream frosted cake.


Now what?


Well. You’re no longer The Bride. Now you’re The Wife (which sounds weird about the first twenty times your hear it). For some, this is shear relief. Being The Bride was stressful and crazy and expensive and you couldn’t wait to say “I do.” But for many of you, those post-wedding blues creep in and it all feels like one big letdown. Not because you don’t want to be married but because it was so much FUN being engaged.


Does it help to hear you’re not alone?


I can’t tell you how many clients call me after the honeymoon to tell me they’re totally lost after it’s all over. I call it “The Wedding Crash.” It happens a lot, and not just to brides—I get calls from a fair share of sad mamas as well. They miss me. They miss the dreaming and the planning. But mostly, they miss their daughters and all that awesome pre-wedding mother/daughter bonding. Pesky son-in-laws! But there is a bright side. That bonding is even tighter when they get to plan the arrival of grandbabies…but I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Thing is, I generally miss these moms too, which is why my fridge is full of Diet Coke and other select beverages. I love it when my past clients stop in for a visit and a little walk down wedding memory lane with me.


Back to my brides. For them, the time before the wedding was consumed with decorations and invitations and flowers and that amazing dress and…what can I say? Planning a wedding is a blast–there’s a reason I do this for a living! After the big day, many brides tell me they feel the depression of having “nothing to look forward to” or they’re gloomy about “never getting to be a bride again.” Some of you even miss your singlehood and mope over “the end of your freedom.”


I have good news. It will pass, and you will embrace your exciting new title. You will move on with life as a newlywed, and that is even more of an adventure than being engaged. Finally, all that time and effort you put into planning your wedding can now be spent on planning your life.


Trust me. Whether it’s days or weeks or even months after your big day, I promise The Rest of Your Life will eventually kick those post-wedding blues to the curb. While I know some of you call me hoping for a cure, I only have a few suggestions earned after years of watching hopeful brides and grooms become happy husbands and wives.


Here they are:

  1. Don’t look at your wedding as the end of anything. Your wedding is a beginning!
  2. Look at the photos and the videos until they no longer make you sad, but happy.
  3. Date each other even after you are married. Every day. Forever.
  4. Celebrate anniversaries—one month, six months, one year, fifty years. Never stop.
  5. Stay in touch with the people who made your wedding day special.


Sappy as my advice may be, I can tell you this: for most people, being married is even better than getting married. If it wasn’t, I would not be in this business. My heart couldn’t take it. The reason I love planning weddings is because I’m a big fan of happily ever after.  And I can’t wait to hear all about yours.


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